Stephen Turner
Akash Kumar
Jordan Lee
Taylor Scott
Virtual coffee chats: who to pair with, how long, what to talk about
A virtual coffee chat is a short, informal video call between two colleagues, with no agenda and no work outcome. Remote teams use them to build the relationships an office builds by chance. Keep it to about 25 minutes, pair across teams, and don't record or take notes.
What a coffee chat is for
In an office, people meet across teams in kitchens and hallways. Remote work removes those chance meetings, so most conversations become about work.
A coffee chat puts one back on purpose. Two people get on a call to get to know each other, with a coffee, tea or nothing at all.
GitLab, an all-remote company, encourages everyone to spend a few hours a week on social calls with anyone in the company. Each new hire schedules at least five coffee chats during onboarding.
What a coffee chat is not
- Not a one-on-one. There's no manager, no status update and no feedback.
- Not a pitch or a favor request. If you need help with a project, book a separate meeting.
- Not mandatory fun. Some people find non-work chat draining, so invite rather than assign.
Who to pair with
GitLab's handbook suggests choosing people on purpose rather than only your own team. A few of its ideas:
- Someone in a group that overlaps with yours, but whom you rarely talk to.
- Someone on a team yours depends on, such as customer success and customer support.
- Someone in another region, at a time inside both people's working hours.
- Someone different from you: a long-tenured colleague if you're new, or a developer if you're in marketing.
Schedule it
Book 25 minutes, the length GitLab calls common. It's short enough to fit between meetings and leaves time before the next one.
Name the event plainly, such as "Priya / Sam coffee chat", so nobody mistakes it for a work meeting. Check the other person's working hours before you pick a slot.
- Sample invite: "I'd like to get to know more people on the platform team. Up for a 25-minute coffee chat next week? No agenda."
- Random pairing works too. GitLab uses a Slack bot that pairs two people every other week.
A loose shape for 25 minutes
| Minutes | What happens |
|---|---|
| 0–5 | Say hello and how your week is going. A sincere "How are you?" is enough. |
| 5–20 | Talk about whatever comes up: where you live, how you got into your field, what you do outside work. |
| 20–25 | Wrap up. If you clicked, suggest another chat in a month or so. |
Conversation starters
Starters take the pressure off the person who feels they must lead. Treat them as suggestions and drop them once the talk flows.
- What did you want to be when you were a kid?
- What's something you've worked on lately that you enjoyed?
- What does a normal day look like where you live?
- What do you do when you're not working?
- If you could swap jobs with anyone here for a week, whose would it be?
Notes and follow-up: keep them out
A coffee chat has no action items, so there's nothing to capture. Recording or transcribing it would make people guarded, which defeats the point.
The only follow-up is human: a thank-you message, or an introduction to someone they mentioned.
Hosting coffee chats on Bridge
If your team meets on Bridge, start a drop-in meeting from a colleague's profile. There's no calendar invite or link to send. They get a notification by email and in Bridge.
Before you talk, check the meeting tools. A host can turn Record, Transcribe and Take notes off for the current meeting. If your account records meetings by default, change that in Preferences.